🚨 "Should" is just a story. 🚨

I was coaching an amazing Story Coaching client last week, and we were talking about one of my favorite storytelling frameworks: The Should vs. Could Spiral. 🌀

She summed it up perfectly: 

"Should is just a story—but I get to choose if it’s the story I want to tell myself."

And whew, that hit. 

Because we’ve all been there, right?

👉 I should get off the couch and go to the gym.

👉 I should apply for this job, even though it sounds awful.

👉 I should have my whole life figured out by 40 (or 24, or 67…).

But here’s the thing—when we live in a should story, there’s only one “right” way forward. 

And when we don’t follow it?

🚨 Should. (We place heavy expectations on ourselves.)

😵‍💫 Shame. (We feel guilty when we don’t meet them.)

🥶 Stuck. (We don’t know what to do next, so we just freeze.)

Because stories—even if they aren’t true—produce real emotions. 

And "should" is one of the heaviest stories we tell ourselves.

Repeat after me: "Should" is just a story.

✋

Repeat after me: "Should" is just a story. ✋

The Power of Story: How “Should” Keeps Us Stuck, and “Could” Moves Us Forward

I know this cycle well because I’ve lived it. Just last week, I found myself on the couch, scrolling endlessly through TikTok, thinking, I should go for a walk. I should be more productive. I should be doing something meaningful with my time.

Instead of inspiring action, those thoughts made me feel worse. I felt guilty for staying on the couch, which only made me want to zone out more. 

That’s how should works—it tricks us into believing there’s only one “right” way forward, and when we don’t take that path, we feel like we’ve failed.

But then I caught myself. 

What if I replaced should with could?

Instead of I should go for a walk, I asked myself:

💭 I could go for a walk—how would that feel?
💭 I could stay on the couch and rest—does that serve me right now?
💭 I could do something else entirely—what do I actually want?

And just like that, the weight lifted. 

Instead of feeling trapped by one option, I had choices. I could assess what felt best in the moment and make an intentional decision, rather than a guilt-driven one.

And you know what?

That night, I chose to stay on the couch and scroll TikTok — but this time without the guilt.

 From Should → Shame → Stuck to Could → Curious → Choose

When we replace should with could, we open up the door to curiosity and conscious choice.

Instead of getting trapped in should → shame → stuck, we shift to:

✅ Could – “I could do X, Y, or Z.” (Now there are options.)

✅ Curious – “What do I want? What feels right?” (Exploration replaces guilt.)

✅ Choose – “I decide.” (Empowered action instead of avoidance.)

This small change rewrites the story—and puts you back in control.

“✨ Should traps us in a script of limitation. Could lets us create our own empowered narrative. ✨”

Where Are Your Should Stories Holding You Back?

❌ I should stay in this job, even though I hate it.
✅ I could explore other career options and see what excites me.

❌ I should be married by now.
✅ I could focus on creating a life I love, regardless of relationship status.

❌ I should have my whole life figured out by now.
✅ I could give myself permission to evolve and grow at my own pace.

What should stories are holding you back from fully living?

Story Prompts to Uncover and Rewrite Your Should Stories

If you’re ready to break free from limiting narratives, start with these story-based prompts:

📝 Think back to a time when you felt stuck in a “should.” Where were you? What was happening? How did it make you feel? What did you do (or not do) as a result?

📝 Imagine if, in that moment, you replaced “should” with “could.” What new options would have opened up? What choices would you have made?

📝 Now, look at your life today. What’s one should story you’re telling yourself right now? How could you shift it into a could? What possibilities open up when you do?

Let’s Rewrite Your Story Together!

The stories we tell ourselves shape our lives. If you’re ready to shift from should to could, I’d love to support you in the process.

Book a complimentary Story Spark session with me, and let’s explore the should stories that are holding you back—and how you can rewrite them into narratives of possibility, purpose, and choice.

✨ Ready to step into a new story?